3 Headed Shark Attack (2015) – Made for TV

“3 Headed Shark Attack”

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The scientists at the underwater research station, Persephone, have been researching marine life at an oceanic “garbage patch.”  Specifically they’re studying mutations caused by the severe pollution.  Maggie has just arrived for her internship on the Persephone, when the research station is attacked by the most dangerous mutation they have yet encountered.  

The Asylum and Christopher Ray bring us the eco-conscious sequel to their memorable “2 Headed Shark Attack.”  This time, our mutant, magically size-changing shark is bigger, badder, harder to kill and has even more heads.  As it turns out, 3 Headed Shark  has one heck of a surprising, nigh mythological, defense!

As always, if you have picked up a movie with a title like “3 Headed Shark Attack”  and made by The Asylum, you should already have an idea of what to expect:  silliness, action, fun, nudity, eye candy, a dramatic soundtrack, and, if you have been successful with suspending your disbelief, getting fully wrapped up in the nonsensical fantasy.   The plot is very simple: survive the shark attack long enough to kill the shark or until help can arrive.  No character development needed, simply plop a bunch of scantily clad twenty-somethings into an unstable environment and follow action sequence after action sequence.   Logic and physics need not apply.

The cast wasn’t especially strong, with a few notable exceptions.  The best parts of the movie were the very few scenes with Danny Trejo, as Mike Burns, the well-prepared fisherman that the survivors of the Persephone attack radio for help.  Wonderfully blatant comedic exploitation of his signature character tropes in this film.  Rob Van Dam, as Stanley, did not disappoint either.  His vast experience in front of the audience is evident and even though he has a relatively small part, he made it his own.  I’m interested to see if he chooses to pursue more of an acting career.    Amusingly, his character is more heroic than the leading man.  Another smaller character, is the talented Jaason Simmons, as Dr. Ted Nelson.  Water-themed movie lovers will recognize him from Baywatch and Sharknado.

I gave this 2 fru fru drinks.  I went in to this with a certain level of expectation and it certainly met that.  It’s audacity made for an entertaining experience  Do not, dear reader, mistake that for saying it was “good.”  If you are a fan of shlocky shark flicks or a fan of The Asylum, then grab a drink (or 3) and  it may be worth the almost 90 minutes of your time.  If you’re expecting more, don’t bother.

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