A friend had recently posted the quote “Do you girls know how to Jamaica Ska?” Which amused me tremendously since I hadn’t thought about that movie in ages. Then, I saw a screen grab of Zombie Nightmare with Adam West and I just KNEW I needed to watch this.
Honestly I misread the title on the cover art as “Sausage Vows”, but decided to check it out anyway. Mark lost his wife in a car accident, so, after the funeral, his friends (and Mark Polonia) decide to stay with him for the weekend as support. Turns out, they may not be such good friends.
Marie is a lonely vampire, very selective, feeding only from bad people. She is always careful to “finish her food”, ensuring that her victims won’t come back to cause trouble. A recent victim, Tony, a Pittsburg mobster, complicates undercover cop, Joe Gennaro’s investigation. Marie’s next victim is Sal “The Shark” Macelli, and through a series of missteps, she is unable to “finish him”. Once he realizes what happened, he decides to give new meaning to the term “made men”.
At a family gathering celebrating their Aunts birthdays, a mysterious gift arrives. Everyone is surprised to learn that it is from the one member of the family, their nephew Christopher, who is not there. To the Aunts delight, it is a beautifully carved wooden box, which once opened, causes them to turn into demons, who eat everyone they catch.
An alleged government contractor is using a commercial airliner to transport top secret cargo under armed guard. A mad scientist, the “contractor”, a distraught husband, and his wife flee the US on a flight to Paris, including a US Air Marshall, a pilot on his final flight before retiring, a professional golfer, and a cop transporting a prisoner when the weather becomes severe and the turbulence causes some some unforeseen complications with the flight.
Josh and Steve are professional snowboarders who are trying to secure a sponsorship at a remote ski resort. Steve decides to pull a stunt by skiing to the finish line naked, not knowing that they were fulfilling a little girl’s wish to meet him and causing them both to lose the sponsorship. Meanwhile, the resort owner, Franz, has been experimenting with making artificial snow and is in the process of giving a demonstration to his potential Russian investor. When the investor gets the noxious artificial snow fluid sprayed in his face, causing him to become increasingly ill.
13 years ago a young woman was horribly murdered by the lawnmower killer on Halloween Prom night, in front of her sister, causing irreparable psychological damage that will haunt her for the rest of her life. Now, 13 years later, Mary Graves is getting ready for her own Halloween Prom night and there was an escape from the local psychiatric hospital.
A vampire, Wayne Gretzky, who accidentally killed the love life, Mary, and lost the ability to “grow his fangs,” is now a popular history professor at a University. When he meets a young woman who looks just like his lost love, he is suddenly able to grow his fangs again.