Multi-Headed Shark Attack Franchise

“Multi-Headed Shark Attack Franchise”

I love creature features! They often blur lines between horror/thriller/sci fi (and comedy). Jaws is in my top 3 movies of all time and it is universally accepted as horror and I have a well established affinity for crappy shark movies. Clearly, I watched these over a period of a couple days.

Movies #7, #8, and #9 (I’m not counting 3-Headed Shark attack, as I’d previously review that one for a past 31-DoH) of the 2020 31-Days of Horror.

2-Headed Shark Attack” (2012) – Made for TV

For more information follow this link.

A group of college students on a “Semester at Sea” class are stuck on a deserted atoll after their boat is damaged. Things become even more dangerous when they discover that not only is the atoll is sinking and there is a voracious 2-headed shark hunting the shores of the atoll.

Brooke Hogan is Kate, a student whose character development includes being a serious student who has a phobia of the water due to a childhood trauma involving a shark, now she must quickly overcome that phobia and turn her intelligence to sudden skill with outboard engines and underwater welding to save as many of her peers as possible from being eaten.

This movie always tickles me! An Asylum flick directed by Christopher Ray, son of the (in)famous Fred Olen Ray. And though I joke about it being “the magical size changing shark movie” and the “logic” in this in no way resembles real logic, it’s fun. It spawned 3 sequels, all equally silly. But I have a thing for Coreman-esque shark movies and will often binge watch them. Or randomly declare a “bad” shark movie week.

3 Headed Shark Attack” (2015) Made for TV

(Previously reviewed)

For more information follow this link.

The scientists at the underwater research station, Persephone, have been researching marine life at an oceanic “garbage patch.”  Specifically they’re studying mutations caused by the severe pollution.  Maggie has just arrived for her internship on the Persephone, when the research station is attacked by the most dangerous mutation they have yet encountered.  

The Asylum and Christopher Ray bring us the eco-conscious sequel to their memorable “2 Headed Shark Attack.”  This time, our mutant, magically size-changing shark is bigger, badder, harder to kill and has even more heads.  As it turns out, 3 Headed Shark  has one heck of a surprising, nigh mythological, defense!

As always, if you have picked up a movie with a title like “3 Headed Shark Attack”  and made by The Asylum, you should already have an idea of what to expect:  silliness, action, fun, nudity, eye candy, a dramatic soundtrack, and, if you have been successful with suspending your disbelief, getting fully wrapped up in the nonsensical fantasy.   The plot is very simple: survive the shark attack long enough to kill the shark or until help can arrive.  No character development needed, simply plop a bunch of scantily clad twenty-somethings into an unstable environment and follow action sequence after action sequence.   Logic and physics need not apply.

The cast wasn’t especially strong, with a few notable exceptions.  The best parts of the movie were the very few scenes with Danny Trejo, as Mike Burns, the well-prepared fisherman that the survivors of the Persephone attack radio for help.  Wonderfully blatant comedic exploitation of his signature character tropes in this film.  Rob Van Dam, as Stanley, did not disappoint either.  His vast experience in front of the audience is evident and even though he has a relatively small part, he made it his own.  I’m interested to see if he chooses to pursue more of an acting career.    Amusingly, his character is more heroic than the leading man.  Another smaller character, is the talented Jaason Simmons, as Dr. Ted Nelson.  Water-themed movie lovers will recognize him from Baywatch and Sharknado.

I gave this 2 fru fru drinks.  I went in to this with a certain level of expectation and it certainly met that.  It’s audacity made for an entertaining experience  Do not, dear reader, mistake that for saying it was “good.”  If you are a fan of shlocky shark flicks or a fan of The Asylum, then grab a drink (or 3) and  it may be worth the almost 90 minutes of your time.  If you’re expecting more, don’t bother.

5-Headed Shark Attack” (2017) Made for TV

For more information follow this link.

When shark attacks start occurring off the coast of Puerto Rico, the local police contact marine biologists from the local aquarium to help them identify what kind of shark. As reports continue, they claim it’s a shark shaped like a starfish. The lead biologist, Thaddeus Marshall, wants to capture it for their aquarium, leading to more deaths. Dr. Yost brings in her friend, Red, a shark hunter, to capture or kill the monster shark.

Nothing new is added to this franchise in this entry of the continuing saga of eco-disaster, mutant sharks hunting scantily clad co-eds and greedy idiots in polluted waters. I don’t know why they skipped right to 5 heads from 3, unless they thought that 5th head was such a spectacular surprise reveal. It was original (ish) but not spectacular. The only thing that seems to be “developing” with the sequels is the addition of new heads sprouting in new places.

If you’re choosing to watch this for the bikini clad cast, you’ll get some of that. Non-sensical is the kindest word I can find to describe this movie. Certainly the weakest of the franchise.

6-Headed Shark Attack” (2018) Made for TV

For more information follow this link.

Isla Corazon, a retreat for couples therapy and surrounded by rocky shoals dangerous to navigate a boat through.

I like the direction they took with this, not students or young interns, but varied ages for the cast with real subplots. Not great subplots, but real ones, none-the-less. They still had their expanse of flesh, since the women often unzipped and rolled down their wet suits to their waists, showing off a bikini top or bra.

Such a dramatic score in this! The choir sings and the orchestra swells as the heads keep popping off this crazy shark.

I’m not going to try to argue that the 6-headed thing is silly, because is absolutely is. The computer generated scenes are… not… good.

Overall, the first two were really fun to watch. The third doesn’t offer much and the fourth was silly fun, but not great.

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